There is something I learned through the birth of my son, that I didn’t recognize until a week before his third birthday. It’s something that changed me, that healed me, and that empowered me, yet I didn’t fully understand it until watching Midwife- the documentary. One of the birth stories shared was a VBAC2 . The woman in this story was strong. She had two cesareans and was working for an out of hospital vaginal birth with a midwife. I was her biggest cheerleader as I sat in the theater with my hands over my mouth holding my breath. She worked hard as she was supported by her husband and birth attendants. And then she did it! She had her VBAC and I cried (of course). Later in the film the midwife returned to the VBAC2 momma for a post partum visit. The mother became her own cheerleader for a moment as she exclaimed, “A baby came out of my vagina!” and high-fived her husband. Again, tears. This woman realized that her body wasn’t broken and, watching her celebrate, I realized that these last three years I have been living out of the joy of having discovered, without knowing it, that neither was mine.
After three miscarriages, I was a bit mad at my body. Why couldn’t it do what it was supposed to? Why did it fail me, and my family, time and time again? I had so many questions and I may never know the answers to those questions. But… the day my body opened up and pushed out our baby boy, after doing a great job keeping him safe and growing him for all those months, I forgave it. I forgave my body and I appreciated it. My body is not broken; it is amazing. And so is yours. And that is what birth taught me.
best. moment. ever.
three years later
Originally posted at www.iowabirthactivists.blogspot.com on November 15, 2013.